Wednesday, March 31, 2010

What I've learned...

Ladies, I have some feedback for you. This is not conformationally biased, this is the result of tons of homework on the history of human society and relationships. This Feedback does not come from a place of bitterness, pain or hate. My Feedback to USA Society comes from a place of truth, effort and experience:

1. A guy who wants to meet in person is not a serial killer, stalker, Internet Predator, over-aggressive, etc. Let's get it out of the way, please? If you are so pre-occupied with your body and meeting, probably missing out on a lot of good things in life. Nothing happens that is not mutually consented and agreed, so start agreeing! It's just dinner or a movie. If you really are that fearful, bring a friend along for the first few dates - I'm not joking! We are adults here. Stop treating me like a stranger, we aren't going to get anywhere that way.

2. Your own Ego has to be mostly left at the door. Your Ego is the picky part that says you have your mind all made up about what you want in life.. I've done a ton of work to crush and discard my Ego, so I ask that we both make serious effort to be honest, open, truthful. Working together and good communications is the name of the LifeLong Relationship game.

3. I am seeking mutual Love. I entirely enjoy and am mutual in sex. However, as I've stated, I'm after long-term mutual Unity of more than just physical. This "Cougar" thing I keep running into with middle age women just isn't my thing, sorry. I just am monogamous at heart, doesn't mean I'm not a "real man".

4. "I'm not Ready For a Relationship" is one of the worst "lines" a woman can use. If you don't like me or have a better guy lined up, just say the truth and end the relationship with honor and respect. Talk openly about your other dating activities and romances. I will. If you are 30 years or older, you are ready for Life. I am wanting to share Real Life, not some sterile fantasy you think Disney shows on movies. How is a marriage supposed to work if you have to have period of time in your life when you "are not ready" and run away? You can have your own time and space in a relationship - it's called working together and good communications with your partner.

5. We work together, so all of this is negotiable. I hope you enjoy conversations that involve back/forth sharing and holding hands.

I think for now, I've spent enough active effort on this dating game. Based on my life to date: My mind is clearly one taste that most women do not enjoy. Maybe you can help change that taste, you only know me as I am now - before your influence? I'm here and available if you are willing to work together to make us both mutually happy. Frankly, I'm rather submissive and understanding in almost all ways. If you are open minded to unique ways of thinking... I'm really a pushover. Soft cuddly women have my full consent to use their charms to get what they want out of me. I really don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me.

I'm not a fool being Open and Honest, despite those who think "Fools Rush In". What am I rushing into again, Living Life? My Love is my gift to give, you stick around and you will keep finding unconditional Love, unconditional forgiveness, unconditional acceptance, unconditional interest in you, unconditional service. Let's truly Work Together, we both listen until we both understand and accept each other...

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Best to you.


  1. Unconditional love is truly what everyone strives for but are they really ready for it when it right there before them? Apparently not! What you have to offer is what every woman wants and I don't understand what's up! Perhaps it's the open and honest part that they can't handle....after all that is quite rare! I guess they are too accustomed to bullshit and lies.

    Griffin has taught me many things and unconditional love was the very first and it is everlasting! Once you've had a taste of it there's no goin' back! I wouldn't accept anything but because I would be selling myself short otherwise. I could go on for hours but I think maybe I made my point.

    Hugs and kisses xoxoxo

  2. Lora - I studied this aspect of humanity in a very serious academic way... as I keep smacking into in the outside-school experience of life.

    "Erotic Irony" is referenced in my first post. The more honest and open I am - the more I drive away what I love (women).

    I'm not unhappy. The challenge has grown me to a point of relative peace.

    (quote) Joseph Campbell was fascinated by how this symbol was seized upon by the world's great religions as the revelation of eternal truth -- that from death comes life, or as he put it: "From sacrifice, bliss."

  3. 'Tis true that from sacrifice comes bliss because that is how I found mine through raising and learning from Griffin. Never before had I truly sacrificed until he was born and it shall continue but it is pure bliss!

    I am glad that you are not unhappy and that you are at peace more people might find their bliss if they practiced this. One day the one who is accepting and open as you are will come along and all this sacrifice will be well worth it.

  4. Lora, you said: "One day the one who is accepting and open as you are will come along and all this sacrifice will be well worth it."

    I know you are well meaning in this sentiment, but it is now how I live my life. I do not sit around waiting for tomorrow. I do my best to live "in the moment" now and take responsibility for my own choices and actions. Including my mistakes. I do not consider it a mistake to seek love and open my heart, to hurt and "bleed" in the pursuit of love.

    I have no children, no dependents, no wife. I am willing to take risks and relocate anywhere in the world to follow my heart. it is FEAR, as I have discussed many times on this blog, that has a grip on society. Be it my different thinking and approach to romance - or terrorism and 9/11, FEAR is what Campbell said in 1987 would take over in the absence of a spiritual society and marriage.

    I wish he wasn't right, as I am living in a time of spiritual wasteland. And people are all about money, distractions, distractions, entertainment, external stimulation, distractions. their own hearts is what they fear, and they bury it with every distraction they can find outside themselves.

    Yes, I will find trying to someone, even if it means I have to keep getting on my knee and make a huge fool of myself ;)

    P.S. I'm a bit tired when i write this particular reply you are reading right now, please excuse any negative tone.

    I appreciate your response, don't think I disagree to disagree, I just want you to understand my more complex (and Campbell's) viewpoint.